AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

First off, Turkey lost my wedding ring.  I left in on the counter for an hour or so and he found it then promptly lost it.  I asked what had happened to it and he said, "It  magically disappeared."  I'm sure one day this will be funny, but at the moment, I am PISSED OFF!  I don't understand why they do the things they do.  We went to Whole Foods today to get some body wash and shampoo for them.  The entire time we were there, they were touching things, pushing each other, running down the aisles, knocking into people and at one point, the sales lady came up to me and said, "Ummmm..." I look up and the boys have pushed every single item on the shelf  to the very BACK of the shelf.  I just needed to get 2 things.  We were there for 45 minutes because every time I started to read a label, they were misbehaving.  So, I had to stop and corral them back over to my area.  I was so distracted and angry and upset by the time we left, that I don't think I even bought what I needed to buy.  And to top it off, before we left the house, I asked if anyone needed to go to the bathroom and if so to please do it now.  I got a NO, from everyone.  As soon as we walk in there, I see dancing feet...of course Turkey has to go to the bathroom and then proceeds to lock himself in the stall.  I swear, sometimes I feel like I have raised wild animals.  They are rude and disrespectful.  They don't listen to a word that comes out of my mouth, nice or not nice, and it infuriates me to my very core.  My stress level is very high.  I feel like at any moment I am going to have a heart attack or stroke because of the way the boys are making me feel.  I have a physical on Wednesday morning.  I'll be very surprised if she doesn't tell me that my blood pressure is high.  I don't know how much more my body can take.  I tell my husband about the things that they do, but it doesn't matter.  I feel lost and alone and in constant state of anger or unhappiness.  I really don't like my boys right now.  How does everyone do it?  How do you teach your child manners and respect for others?  I'm obviously failing as a Mom, because they completely ignore me and are blatantly disrespectful.  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  That's all I want to do...scream and cry.  I hope your day is better than mine.

Personalities

I think these pictures sum up the boys personalities to a 'T'!

silly...

 happy...

serious...

Wordless Wednesday

Who's There?

According to Google Stats, I have an audience in Russia, Germany, the UK, Iraq and South Korea. I know who's reading my blog in the UK...my little sister (or at least I hope it's her). I think it's pretty cool that it tells me these things. So, Что нового?, Grüß dich! Hello!, Shakumaku, and 안녕하세요!

I copied those from Google, so if they aren't the correct greeting, maybe you could comment on what the proper greeting would be?

It would be great to hear where everyone is from. If you could let me know in the comment section where you are from, I'd appreciate it! It will be fun to see where the readers are ;)

30 Day Mom Challenge

I came across this a while ago and decided to post it.  Given my recent hardships with my boys, it's nice to have something like this to give me a little push to try and stay focused on being a better Mom.  What you need to do is take whatever date is today and start on that number.  So, today is the 23rd...go down to number 23 and do that and the next day do number 24, and so on until you done all 30 in 30 days.  Then repeat.  Seems easy enough....

source: imom.com

Scentsy Review

Have you ever heard of this?  I'm sure my Texas friends have.  I've noticed that any home based business (ie:   Tupperware, Scentsy, Silpada, Premier Jewelry, Pampered Chef, etc.) are things that most Texans know about.  Maybe it's because they have a little more expendable income than Californians?  I got off topic...so, have you heard of Scentsy?  It's basically a wax warmer.  The warmers plug in and kinda remind me of a mini crock pot.  You put in some scented wax, turn it on and enjoy the smell of deep fried ice cream, or whatever suits your fancy.

I recently purchased one from my friend (a Texan) and have really enjoyed it.  I know a lot of my friends have these things and absolutely love them.  Well, I'm here to say that I am a convert!  I love this thing.  All the smells are pretty right on with what the real thing is.  The scent is really strong and lasts for a while.  Plus it makes my entire 1100 square foot apt smell yummy!  I say yummy because all of my waxes are food scented.  So I will no longer be buying plug-ins or any of those kinds of air freshners.  I really really love my Scentsy warmer!  So far my favorite smell is Sugar Cookie.

If you want to see what these are all about, check out Alison's website.  I guarantee you will find something!

As a side note, Alison did not ask me to do this, I am doing this of my own free will and am not getting compensated in any way.  I just think this stuff smells awesome!

Losing My Mind

So, I lost it.  I completely lost my shit yesterday.  All I wanted to do was vacuum the car...that's all I wanted to do.  Could I do it? NO!  Of course not!  Is it really too much to ask that I get some alone time.  Albeit, my alone time is always something that I'm doing for the family and hardly ever for me.  For example, going to Costco, Target, the grocery store, the post office, etc.  And even my "alone time" vacuuming the car was still child filled.  They were in the car at first and then I realized that wasn't going to work, so I let them play in the grassy area right next to the car.  I had to remind them to watch Bean and to not run in the street.  Well, I got about 5 minutes into my zen (I find it oddly relaxing to vacuum...call me crazy) and I had to stop. Turkey was beating Angel with a stick, Angel was leading Bean around by the neck, quite forcefully, then lifted Bean up onto a lamp post and then LET HIM GO!   REALLY?!  I know they are only little boys and they don't understand consequences yet, but COME ON!

OH, and to top it off, my neighbors who live upstairs and catty corner to us were walking out to their car, speaking in Spanish, and I hear "blah, blah, blah, CPS"  I look up and they are all looking at me.  Coincidence...I think not.  Well, my mind starts spinning and I think of all the times I am screaming at the kids and I think to myself that it's been a lot lately, so they have a lot of ammunition.  But then I think, screw them.  They don't understand what I am going through nor do they  know me or my family.  So, yeah, screw them.

I am fully aware of my actions and how I sound.  I also know that I should not be screaming at the kids like I do because it doesn't do anyone any good.  But I also feel like I can't help it.  When the boys start screaming and fighting and not listening, I feel my whole body tingling with annoyance and anger.  I know that other moms go through this.  I know this because I had to have a heart to heart with a friend, only to find out that she is going through THE EXACT SAME THING!  Word for word, we are dealing with the same bullshit.  I do take some comfort in knowing that I'm not the only one.  And, no, I did not think that I was the only one going through this.  It's just nice to hear it from someone else.

How come know one talks about this stuff?  I mean, with the sincerity and fervor that this topic deserves?  Why do we tiptoe around how we are really feeling?  Are we afraid of the judgement?  Are we afraid that if we say it out loud, that we are admitting that we are horrible Mothers?  I think if we just admit that it's hard and that we sometimes lose our cool, that we maybe wouldn't be so hard on ourselves and we might find out that other Moms are going through the exact same thing.  You know that saying, 'It's takes a village to raise a child'?  Well, they weren't lying.  It's especially hard on those of us who are displaced from family and are the only caretaker for your children.  I am always in a much better mood when we are back home visiting family.  We have help and the kids no longer out number us.

Don't get me wrong, I do love my children and can't imagine a life without them.  But on those frequently occurring moments when they are being a pain in my ass, I really don't like them or want to be around them. I want to run away and not come back for fear that I will forever ruin their emotional psyche and child like spirit with my own unresolved childhood emotions that I am taking out on them.  And, yes, I know where all my crazy comes from.  I just don't want to impose that on my children.  We all want better for our kids than what we had.  I'm working on my stuff and hopefully I don't screw up the kids too much.

Wordless Wednesday

Loungin'

It's super cute, but not so safe (eating while lying down), but I find him doing this a lot.  He just lounges and eats his little snack...this is what I found at my feet while I was writing.

By the way, the little snack bucket that  he has in his hands was something that I bought on clearance from a little online baby boutique.  I've got to say that it's the BEST snack bucket I've ever bought!  It's called a Munchie Mug.  It's a spill proof cup with a spandex opening so that it's easy on little hands to slide in and out.  Plus, it doesn't allow more than a few cheerios or raisins to come out of the hole at one time.

How Much More Can This Kid Take?

My little Turkey is sick. He has a virus. It kinda looks like hand foot and mouth, but I'm not sure. I've called the nurses hotline, and emailed the doctor with pictures and they all tell me it's just a virus, but to keep an eye on it.

I am so over my boys being sick. Usually it starts out as some sort of allergy thing (we are still getting used to all these different plants and trees out here in CA) and then develops into some virus. With Turkey, it's always a little worse. When he was just a tiny boy, he came down with RSV. RSV is an infection of the lungs and breathing passages. It's a horrible thing when you are a baby. Turkey spent his 3rd week of life in the hospital quarantined because of this nasty little virus. And because of this, he now has asthma and eczema and who knows what other auto immune thing that is out there. This in turn, I feel, makes him more susceptible to any virus/disease that is out in this world. If anyone's going to get it...Turkey will get it. And it will put the smack down on him.

So, YES, my child is sick all the time, but it's not because of their diet or that they need vitamins or that I'm a horrible mom...it's because he has a slightly weakened immune system because of the RSV he had as a baby. And NO, there's nothing I can do about it...it's a virus. You can't take antibiotics for a VIRUS.

Oh...and if your child is sick, but you think it's just a little sniffle or just a tiny cough, please keep them away from me.  Because chances are, Turkey will catch it and it will turn into something 100 times worse than what your child has.

Race Track

The boys were bored one day...so what's new.  It's summer and they are in a constant state of boredom unless we are doing something every second of every day.  Anyway, they were bored.  So I decided to put my pinterest skills to work.  I got out my blue painters tape and went to town making a race track for them.  They thought it was the coolest thing...even my little Bean joined in on the fun.  Unfortunately, it did not keep them occupied for too long.  Maybe 20 minutes?  And I think that was pushing it.  After a while, Turkey decided to start pulling all the tape off of the carpet.  OH WELL!  It was fun while it lasted!

Robots

The other day we were at the park, playing and crafting and the boys made some pretty awesome looking robots.

  See...told you they were awesome :)  Turkey made the green and Angel made the red.

I Love/Hate the Mornings!

I have a love hate relationship with the morning.  On the one hand, I love getting up when it's still quiet outside and the weather is still cool from the night before.  I love seeing the sun come up and feeling like each day is a brand new beginning for all of us.  I love waking up in my warm and cozy bed feeling especially snuggly with my 800 thread count sheets (this may not seem high to some of you, but it's the nicest set of sheets I've ever owned)  Plus I absolutely love breakfast...I mean, who doesn't love some pancakes and bacon?  I love the morning!

Now comes the Jekyll and Hyde syndrome...I hate the morning!  I hate that the boys wake up at the butt crack of dawn and immediately start arguing over what cartoon channel to put it on.  It's super obnoxious to hear them fight over who gets the soft blanket and who gets the hard one.  I am barely functioning when I wake up.  Maybe it's because I've gotten about 4 hours of sleep because I nurse a certain Bean all night long.  Sleep deprivation can really do a number on your pysche.  I hate that I have to get up and fix breakfast, clean up, get everyone ready for the day.  It's one thing for Angel...he can pretty much do as I ask without too much complaint, but for Turkey, well, everything is a freaking battle.  It's screaming and shrieking all morning long.  My morning routine is less than appealing on so many levels.

So, yes, while I love the chirping of the birds, sipping my hot tea and all that other b.s. that goes with the morning, I also loathe getting up and functioning like a normal Mom....which, by the way, is basically being a super hero of sorts. You've got to do it all!

Hope everyone's day is full of chirping birds and warm snugglies!

Alameda Point Antiques Faire

This past Sunday, my friend Emily and I went to the Alameda Point Antiques Faire.  We were very excited about it and had planned it for a month.  This fair only occurs on the first Sunday of each month.  The gates open at an unimaginable time for a Sunday, and goes until 5.  Well, we compromised and left around 8 in the morning for the hour long drive to Alameda.  By the time we had gotten there, the fair was in full swing.  There were a TON of people!  We were so excited to get in there and go antiquing.  Once we were inside the gate, it was total eye candy...well, for us.  Lots of knickknacks, tchotchkes (who knew it was spelled this way?), furniture, paintings, frames, fabrics, jewelry, home accessories and a bunch of interesting swap meet kind of people.  We were in HEAVEN!   We walked to the very end of the rows and worked our way back to the front (I highly recommend doing it this way, in case you buy a lot of treasures, then you won't have to hike it all the way back to the front).  Mid-way through our tour....or rather, a few hours into hour tour, we stopped to get lunch.  It felt like we had only been there for an hour...but 3 had gone by!  We had decided that there was just too much to look at in one day.  I mean, who could possibly stick it out for that long?  Well, after lunch (which by the way, was pretty fab.  We had an awesome tomato bisque soup and egg salad sandwich.  Plus, there were a ton of other awesome looking food trucks there.  Like, for instance, for dessert, we had some maple glazed donuts with bacon sprinkles...mmmm.  They were delish!)  we ended up skipping a few rows and continued on our little tour of the fair.  We finally made it to the front around 2:30ish and decided we should go home.  I was a little disappointed in the fact there wasn't as much furniture as I was hoping there'd be.  And with the fact that the prices seemed a little high.  Some vendors were reasonably priced, but others, well, let's just say they were really proud of their things.  I found a few things and Emily bought a few items...not nearly as much as I had expected.  But I think she got a good deal, nonetheless.  I want to go back (when I have a little more cash) and shop some more.  All in all, I think we had a pretty good, pretty relaxing Sunday sans kiddos!  

 The Faire - it was overcast the first few hours

 Emily with her basket :)

Maple glazed donuts with bacon sprinkles